A casual Sunday afternoon. The miniature playhouse filled with relics of an ancient epoch where the heart was permitted to speak. The sky, endless as the effortless tributaries of light, smiles back in my direction—freedom is a comforting hearth.
Being cut off from the grid of modernity, my intrapersonal attributes allow themselves to flow. You could say it’s my perception of evolution so to speak, especially at an age where social media and technology is the brain that dictates the human soul. The battle of existential crises is one that slowly becomes a war between development and survival; this is something I mediate between every day. It’s quite a disheartening feeling to witness the disconnection of humans from their holistic nature. However, as cliché as it sounds, an opportunity comes from every crisis. It takes a true catalyst—someone who hasn’t lost his or her soul—to enlighten the downtrodden. It’s the only way to create a gradual evolution; one that transcends the coldness of hard logic and the emptiness of the human heart. I realized that in order to achieve this wholeness, a release of past facades and co dependence is vital. One cannot realize his or her true essence if they are running off the agendas of others who they believe have the answer to it all. Find the power within your core and follow it endlessly—it all lies in the palm of your hands.
Reality struck my mind again. The still life picture of my temple collapsed and lifeless. The stream of bodily fluids sprawled on the city sidewalk. Countless footsteps stomping past, cold like the cement down below. Heart too struck to answer his call, yet too unforgiving to forget about his mistake. The cinderblock world seems too feint at this point. That’s what occurs when you decide to open your castle walls, I suppose. Burnt by an iced apathy, decomposed by chronic depersonalization. Escapism becomes the best friend you’ve never had. Suddenly, a sympathetic soul stops and stares, shocked and broken by the spectacle. “Get off the ground, fool!” The white haired man yelled. Guess it wasn’t my night after all. He was 34 years of age, driven by his heart to find a better life for himself. He had no home; a lone wanderer finding disenchanted souls like mine and bringing them back to life. My guardian angel for the night. The one person who believed when those I gave my trust to fed my heart to the concrete jungle’s consuming ecosystem. As we parted ways, I looked back. The lone wanderer vanished into the black jungle.
Multiple trials have passed, multiple chances eroded. My essence has been in the same loop for what seems to be timeless at this point. Constantly on the search for that eye opening moment, that luminescent pure soul, that humanistic answer to end all inherent evils in the world. It’s more than searching though. My soul craves for it. Is this what our existence comes down to? A constant cat and mouse of perpetual deception? I refuse to believe so, but the physical world has a way of ascertaining that reality. My mind constantly machinates a utopian state. Bright blue trees, deep pink skies. Fauna and flora living peacefully along one another and mutualism being the law of the land. Imagine a place where one could count on their brothers and sisters to lend that time, importance, and empathy to actualize the fantasy of the impossible. I’ve had enough time to imagine, now it’s time to create. Let us redefine love, friendship, dreams, and the like. Let us create the renaissance we envision.
A slew of Cuervo and forgotten faces,
the ideal antidote for the meaningless bicker.
Five senses replaced by the heart’s plea,
a stronger cocktail to shutter his gaze.
A silver shot to a sweet escape,
a gold veil to shield my desire.
My lifeless body in the comforting blackness,
A charcoaled blanket eschewing the inevitable light.
The brain’s fruitless banter, the heart’s unyielding wails.
Without an invisible rescuer, eternal damnation of my soul.
Epochs pass, onlookers stop and stare;
Quite the rarity to find a crystal ball with no luster.