The “Numbing” of the American Heart

I just finished watching a great video regarding the “commodification” of relationships in the Western world and the higher levels of dissatisfaction and depression. Honestly, I don’t think I need a YouTube video to reconfirm this. Not trying to be a cynic, but I mean, just look at the handful of friends who’ve come to you with the myriad of Tindr dates gone to shit, or some douche dumping a huge load on you and walking out the door like nothing ever happened. Will there ever be a moment where enough is enough? Will there be an instance where you can look into a significant other’s eyes and not have to worry they’ll dump you for that guy with a better car and a six pack? Celibacy’s the only option at this point.

As a little background to understand where I’m coming from, yes, my parents are still together after almost 30 years. Sure, there are occasional fights and money problems, but still, those blotches are vital to the connection they have shared for more than half their lives. I feel blessed sharing this with you all, as I know it’s becoming more and more anomalous with each passing year. “How do you guys make it work?” I asked my parents on a random Sunday. “We were best friends before anything else, and when we made those vows, we promised to stay friends no matter what,” she happily replied as she looked into my father’s eyes. There was trust and laughter, fighting and bonding, love and lust; it was the ideal recipe for a sacred union.

Now, fast forward to the present world. A world where your orgasm holds priority to any potential bond you may have for the future. Think about the love it takes to grow a healthy garden, or the dedication it took to build the Empire State building—it surely wasn’t a sweaty one night affair behind the dumpster. The sweat on these individuals’ foreheads was accumulated throughout time, and none of that came without a healthy dose of sacrifice and risks involved. The gardener could have lost all of his or her crops in a bad season, and the workers could have easily been blown off the platform as the air pressure augmented with each floor they ascended. Pure love, or life for that matter, goes far beyond the eye can see. Sure, you can get a chemically induced burger and soggy fries from your favorite fast food chain, but tell me, how does your body react the moment it starts processing all that fake meat? Instead of fake meat, think about that drunk hook up you had last night and the emptiness you feel when you wake up and it’s like you never had that connection in the first place. It’s fleeting, slightly nauseating, and going through the seven stages of grief for the tenth time this month will not get any easier. And for the record, jumping into another one-week affair will certainly not numb that void. Stop lying to yourself.

The difficulty associated with the postmodern conundrum of relationships is undeniably another tool of escape, but what makes someone think that another person or multiple people will fill that unhappiness deep inside themselves? We continuously numb our souls by distraction, or instantly gratifying our wants with pleasures and highs that will last us all but a minute, a month, maybe two if were lucky. I am no different. I’m sitting here judging hook ups and open relationships, yet I go from city to city just for that momentary feeling of novelty and the rush of exploring uncharted territory. I don’t know, it just feels right to me. I guess you can make the same excuse for adulterers, polyamorists, players, etc. However, when matters of the heart and soul come into play, there’d be nothing more sacred and beautiful than to have that one person you can share all these moments with, egging each other on to become a higher being. You won’t find that fulfillment with three cocktails and one night, and having “main” and “side” bitches won’t make you any better, happier, or a beloved manifestation of light. There’s a reason why evolution favored union between two people, for better or for worse. Life’s an oceanic mosaic that can be a struggle to swim through, but standing hand in hand with a loving partner can make the deepest waters seem like warmest bubble bath you’ve ever taken. Never give up on finding that comfort, and when you do, never stop swimming deeper.




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