Five Things to be Grateful For

I can think of ten or more instances where people have come to me to complain about the horridness in their lives. They hate their jobs, their managers are assholes, they don’t have money to go to a concert, their date went sour, etc. To be honest with you, I also don’t think there’s been a moment that I can remember in the past couple eternities where the mainstream news didn’t have something negative and fear striking to shove down the throats of the average viewer. It’s quite sad, especially when we already have our own problems to handle. But get this. It doesn’t have to be this way. Why don’t we ever talk about the amazing artist one of us stumbled upon while perusing Spotify or the dog that came up to us in the middle of the street just to say hi? Or even on a larger scale, why not just talk about the beauty of seeing another day? Today, I’m happy to share with you guys the top five things we can all be grateful for right this second, and trust me, I promise it’ll make your day just a little bit better!


1) Your Physical Environment

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of working for a pizza shop in the middle of rural Colorado. Golden prairies and cumulus clouds spanning for miles, no obnoxious traffic jams, and the two dollar gas totally made it worthwhile, not gonna lie! But as I was driving to my next delivery, I stopped and thought about the smaller details that are simply overlooked by many of us. I want you guys to take a look at your immediate surroundings right now. Whether you’re in your childhood bedroom or kicking it on the Gold Coast, there’s always that one element—no matter how small—that can shift your gears into thinking more positively about the current space you inhabit. Trust me, I get it. You want to get out of mom and dad’s house or seeing the myriad of crazies roaming your city’s streets make you want to move cross country, but until that freedom day happens, just find that little park that’s out of the way and appreciate the beauty of it! Hey, who knows when you’ll ever have a chance to see it again?

2) The People Still in Your Life

In a globalized world, we are constantly being bombarded by the compulsory task of making connections, attending awkward company dinners, or hearing some squeaky nasally voice ask you the same age old question…”ARE YOU IN THE INDUSTRY?!” As vital as it is to expand your social network to get to where you want to be in life, it feels even more fulfilling when you can laugh about that nasally voice with your one or two go to buddies from college. Travelling through almost half the country has made me deeply appreciate and love those who will always be there with you to share your moments no matter where you are in this increasingly complex matrix. It may sound lame, but the next time you’re feeling alone, it’s definitely a grounding feeling to call mom and dad and reminisce about your childhood for a bit.

3) Your Memories

I think my previous point does a decent job leading into this one. No matter what point you’re at in life, we all have one or two instances where we laughed our fucking asses off, saw an inspiring artist, or had a conversation with a person who totally blew our mind. By no means am I saying to live in the past, but when the going gets tough, reminiscing can be the best antidote to remind you that life really has the potential to be a worthwhile journey. So next time you decide to bitch about that manager you can’t stand, just cancel it out with that funny memory with your best friend instead! Just make sure not to laugh in his or her face though…a smirk’ll do the trick. J

4) Your Future

I’m sure we’ve all had some wild dreams, and of course, the perception of what’s wild ranges with each of us! But come on, who here hasn’t wanted to have their own talk show, live in different countries, or who knows, even establish our generation’s next Apple or Microsoft! Guys, these dreams are what make us human. And part of being human is the ability to follow these “crazy” images! I understand it won’t take a day. Or a month. Or who knows, maybe not even a year! But hey, the pursuit of happiness is one of the central tenets of being alive, and following that hunch is what will make you thankful for having another day in this world.

5) Being Alive 

There have been points in my life where I felt that it wasn’t worth it anymore. I nourished my self-destructive delusion that I was stupid, unattractive, or a faulty product. I didn’t have enough money. I took longer than my peers to complete the university rat race. I was living in the back of my car. I’ve had romantic relationships that are comparable to cesspools. But by the same token, I’ve traveled and experienced a hearty portion of America and got to live in some of the most iconic cities. I’ve seen artists and shows that have literally put me to tears. I’ve met and interacted with all types of people. Most importantly, I’ve been able to live to tell my stories with the world. See, life will never be as pleasant and full of light as most neo-hippies want you to think. There will be low points. There will be times where you want to curse out the guy or girl in front of you for driving 10 miles below the speed limit or a person you’ll wake up next to in the morning without knowing why you slept with them in the first place. However, the high points will be worth everything. And that my friend, that right there is the point of being alive. Having yet another opportunity to see your path unfold is something we take for granted, myself included. Take advantage of it, for there are many of us who wish they had another day to curse out that driver or have that final laugh with their best friend—love every moment of it.



The “Numbing” of the American Heart

I just finished watching a great video regarding the “commodification” of relationships in the Western world and the higher levels of dissatisfaction and depression. Honestly, I don’t think I need a YouTube video to reconfirm this. Not trying to be a cynic, but I mean, just look at the handful of friends who’ve come to you with the myriad of Tindr dates gone to shit, or some douche dumping a huge load on you and walking out the door like nothing ever happened. Will there ever be a moment where enough is enough? Will there be an instance where you can look into a significant other’s eyes and not have to worry they’ll dump you for that guy with a better car and a six pack? Celibacy’s the only option at this point.

As a little background to understand where I’m coming from, yes, my parents are still together after almost 30 years. Sure, there are occasional fights and money problems, but still, those blotches are vital to the connection they have shared for more than half their lives. I feel blessed sharing this with you all, as I know it’s becoming more and more anomalous with each passing year. “How do you guys make it work?” I asked my parents on a random Sunday. “We were best friends before anything else, and when we made those vows, we promised to stay friends no matter what,” she happily replied as she looked into my father’s eyes. There was trust and laughter, fighting and bonding, love and lust; it was the ideal recipe for a sacred union.

Now, fast forward to the present world. A world where your orgasm holds priority to any potential bond you may have for the future. Think about the love it takes to grow a healthy garden, or the dedication it took to build the Empire State building—it surely wasn’t a sweaty one night affair behind the dumpster. The sweat on these individuals’ foreheads was accumulated throughout time, and none of that came without a healthy dose of sacrifice and risks involved. The gardener could have lost all of his or her crops in a bad season, and the workers could have easily been blown off the platform as the air pressure augmented with each floor they ascended. Pure love, or life for that matter, goes far beyond the eye can see. Sure, you can get a chemically induced burger and soggy fries from your favorite fast food chain, but tell me, how does your body react the moment it starts processing all that fake meat? Instead of fake meat, think about that drunk hook up you had last night and the emptiness you feel when you wake up and it’s like you never had that connection in the first place. It’s fleeting, slightly nauseating, and going through the seven stages of grief for the tenth time this month will not get any easier. And for the record, jumping into another one-week affair will certainly not numb that void. Stop lying to yourself.

The difficulty associated with the postmodern conundrum of relationships is undeniably another tool of escape, but what makes someone think that another person or multiple people will fill that unhappiness deep inside themselves? We continuously numb our souls by distraction, or instantly gratifying our wants with pleasures and highs that will last us all but a minute, a month, maybe two if were lucky. I am no different. I’m sitting here judging hook ups and open relationships, yet I go from city to city just for that momentary feeling of novelty and the rush of exploring uncharted territory. I don’t know, it just feels right to me. I guess you can make the same excuse for adulterers, polyamorists, players, etc. However, when matters of the heart and soul come into play, there’d be nothing more sacred and beautiful than to have that one person you can share all these moments with, egging each other on to become a higher being. You won’t find that fulfillment with three cocktails and one night, and having “main” and “side” bitches won’t make you any better, happier, or a beloved manifestation of light. There’s a reason why evolution favored union between two people, for better or for worse. Life’s an oceanic mosaic that can be a struggle to swim through, but standing hand in hand with a loving partner can make the deepest waters seem like warmest bubble bath you’ve ever taken. Never give up on finding that comfort, and when you do, never stop swimming deeper.



Finest City, Third World Living: San Diego’s Hidden Secret

I feel like I’m the luckiest man in the world. As the balmy breeze hits my face, I can spot a surfer family in the distance. Yes people, I live in one of the best small cities in the country. I’m going to take a gamble and say that I live in the most idyllic small city in the world. If you don’t believe me, just look at the millions of tourists and transients we get here every year. Ten years from now, I’ll look back at this very moment and say that San Diego was one of the most peaceful moments in my life. However, it’s sad to say that not everyone has the privilege of sharing the same thoughts. And no, they’re not complaining about the weather.

As I was perusing through Voice of San Diego, one of the city’s local online newspapers, I stumbled upon a photo article that completely took me by surprise. Catherine Green’s “Photos: Inside a Slumlord’s Empire,” delves into the subpar conditions that slumlord Bankim Shah kept his buildings in for years. I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want residents in our country’s finest city living in third world replicas, especially with having to pay some of the highest rents in the area. I couldn’t help but feel disgusted, but instead of condemning you, Mr. Shah and other complicit city officials, let me give you a few pieces of advice to how to address the ongoing issue. I’m going to let you in on a big hint—there’s more money involved if you listen.

Step One: Empathize with your Tenants

I honestly don’t know if Mr. Shah’s ever heard of the childish phrase “treat others that way you want to be treated.” According to Green, the apartments were “riddled with gas leaks, armies of roaches, mold and sewage backups.” Now sir, I understand that you have a smorgasbord to handle being an administrator. You can make the comparison from anything to writing multiple papers at once for graduating law school or deep cleaning a restaurant for impeccable safety standards, but see, the rewards are worthwhile. If I were you, I’d apply these same concepts to handling your tenants. Fixing the window in Ms. Godat’s apartment signifies that she can be satisfied with her living space, and consequently, you have one less problem on your dinner plate. I’m not saying install gold embroidered toilets; just do the basic minimum to respect your tenants’ humanity. Let me ask, if you put your family in one of these apartments, what would be of their personal well-being? Here’s the thing though. Mr. Shah is not the only one who conducts this short-term thinking process when it comes to maintaining their tenants’ homes. Last year alone, there’s been almost a population increase of 12,000, so the chances of someone landing in those living spaces you see on Hoarders is pretty high. This point leads me to my next step, a thousand dollars now can generate into one million in the future.

Step Two: Look at the Long Term

I guess we have our outdated business models to blame for this one. Although housing is a crucial element in this, old-fashioned business philosophies bring me back to a scene of some cheesy 1980s movie. Going for the short-term economic solution will not further fatten your wallet, Mr. Shah. I want you to think of the future, like the moment when Ms. Karina Villanueva decides to leave due to your negligence to fix the mold in her bathroom. You could continue to choose that route, but look at the terrible publicity you’ve made for yourself. With the myriad of Internet applications like Yelp and Glassdoor, I know that any businessperson knows the power of the keyboard. If I woke up to confusing a swarm of cockroaches for chocolate cheerios, I know exactly where I’d want to explicitly recount my experience living there. After many reviews, it’s a matter of time before prospective renters find out about what’s going on inside your buildings, and guess what? You just lost a whole market of prospective renters. So next time you choose to not spend $75 on a quick repair, you could potentially lose $750000 in a potential lawsuit, lack of prospective tenants, or city fines if that one person’s complaint goes viral.

Step Three: Don’t Stop Competing

I’m not going to deny that in San Diego, there’s a lot of money to be had. It’s one of the most desired locations to live in, and despite the expensive housing that doesn’t stop realtors and land owners from continuing to innovate their properties. I can still remember the quote I read the other day, “just when you grow comfortable, you become your most vulnerable.” Don’t let that be you, Mr. Shah. I recently stepped into a newly remodeled apartment in downtown San Diego. Bright colors and freshly painted hallways glimmered side by side with a Victorian style cage elevator reminiscent of the building’s rich history. This is the sign of a landlord who’s conscious about his tenants’ well being while also generating sizable revenue. Sadly, I won’t be able to share the same positive review about the visible hole in Ms. Sherry Godat’s bathroom ceiling; I didn’t know you were trying to aim for a more communal style of living. Now, to take you back a little further, think about the Yelp review. After that same prospective renter was repulsed by the complaints and gut churning photos, he or she went down the street to a building that was not only in their financial comfort zone, but were also extremely satisfied by the brand new floors, clean lobby, and modern amenities. Sure, it probably took a sizable amount to remodel the place, but that person down the street sees that something as small as a clean building put him ahead in the competition with the highest occupancy rates in years.


Having lived in five different cities in less than three years while barely scraping by in college has humbled me. With those experiences, let’s just say that I’ve had my fair share of interesting living situations. I had a homeless settlement colonize my backyard for a few months in Seattle, and currently, there’s no kitchen vent, central air, or cutting edge plumbing in the place I live in San Diego. However, Catherine Greene’s photo article and the atrocities shown make my place look like Oprah’s mansion in Los Angeles. I know you aren’t the only one with this type of mindset. This is an ongoing problem as innovation continues to evolve our urban centers and people are relocating more than ever before. Some slumlords decide to ditch the label and evolve to stay in the ever-changing housing race, while others like Mr. Shah decide to stay at the bottom of the ladder because of their reluctance to take pride in owning a building in this beautiful piece of heaven. Please Mr. Shah and all the other apathetic “slumlords,” I hope that this can serve as a wake up call that we’re more than profit margins; I want the finest city to have the finest housing as well—do your part and join the movement.


Green, Catherine. “Photos: Inside a Slumlord’s Empire.” Voice of San Diego, 20 Feb. 2015, Accessed 28 Apr. 2017.

The Judge

We always have that tendency to look outside of ourselves in order to justify the mere iota of our existence. Friends, family, drifting aimlessly, landing our dream jobs, or anything else that can bring a level of comfort and rationalism. I live with a judge in my subconscious. The man’s stoicism pervades everything I do. Get into a fight, he’s there to slap some sense into me, “You’re back at this again?!” He’s always there to recite his code of law, piercing black pupils ruthlessly drilling my molting outer shell. Am I about to speed over the cliff just to pray to swim safely back to shore? I feel like I need to—I can’t stand to look at his face anymore. Yet, deep down, I know he’s right. I’ve alienated myself to the point that any unfortunate soul that crosses mine is met with Antarctica: barren, questioning, sub-freezing. Visceral sun shining outwardly over this uninhabitable paradise makes you forget that the perennial coldness can consume you and dry out the most ardent fires. I’m better than this. Love so potent that a cure for cancer wouldn’t match. A mind reminiscent of the city’s boom in the late 90’s: Brightness, bliss, and beautiful sights. But here I am, aimlessly sitting in a dark room, wishing to escape my self-dug black hole and prevent global warming from happening in my heart. It’s a continuous push pull and I try to convince myself it’s completely normal. I guess that’s my sin. That perceived escape route looks more and more like another trap the judge’s trying to steer me away from; why does my mind fall for it every time?

Now it hit me. I can still remember that one Friday ten years, three months, and six days ago like it happened last night. I was at the Broadway Mall, your suburban entertainment center for soccer moms and unruly teens alike. It was late fall in New York, and the ruthless snowfall was so close you can smell the frozen droplets in the crisp air. I was thirteen at the time, and I could only imagine what being a part of those cool kids must have felt like. That all changed when my prodigious reflection blankly stared back in the elevator mirror. I was a little over five feet and almost 200 pounds; my winter jacket literally made me look like a genetically modified blueberry. I mean, how could I not enjoy that extra slice of pizza when trying to beat the hardest mission on GTA Vice City? After a half hour of plodding around with my family (I didn’t really have any friends at the time), we decided to go to my favorite place in the world, the second floor food court. The once flashy yellow beams enticing haggard shoppers became secondary to the Sbarro past the rows of up and coming film posters. “What would you like to order?” The cashier politely asked. I could feel my hedonism come out, and once again, I let my urges win. “Large spaghetti, two chicken thighs, and a loaf of garlic bread please,” I happily responded. To me, that tower of savory heaven was the highlight of my week. But just as any other temporary high goes, mine was about plummet faster than King da Ka.

I waddled through the busy court, and thankfully, there was a fairly nice table for us to sit, but little did I know that I was about to be the Ripley’s Believe it or Not phenomena for the night. As I laid down the ketchup red tray, I felt an icicle puncture me from the corner of my eye. As I turn, I spot the young couple scrutinizing my tray, and of course, directing their gaze at the perpetrator. It was that moment that resonated with me, but also altered how I viewed my relationships with others. That heaven on a tray warped into a black hole, and inside it, the judge’s gaze. My appetite was lost and I was barely able to have a scrap, all the while the couple still whispering to themselves about their observations. My mother, being the cheerful person she is tried to convince me it was all in my head, “Don’t worry about it, they’re just shocked by your appetite! Stop being so paranoid—“ I knew what I saw, and I made it a point to avoid any mirror that would delineate the hard truth of what was going through that couple’s mind.

Suddenly, everything that I would normally appreciate turned into a necessary chore in order to finally leave that place. That Hershey’s store with the cotton candy ice cream became the source of further introspection. “Come on, have some ice cream,” my family members tried to convince me as they happily demolished their banana nut sundaes. The saddest part is that I would have been right there with them, but changes are inevitable. I was in disbelief when I realized how much my weight got in the way of everything. I was the fat kid in my school, the person people felt put off by, and the last resort in every team in gym class. I slowly felt my world change from childish innocence to awkward blandness and isolation. The next day, I decided to finally use that Planet Fitness membership card I placed in some random crevice by my bedside. I haven’t stopped since.

Within two years, I saw myself transform to a person I didn’t even know anymore. In my teenage mind, I saw that weight scale as the ticket to having a chance at being “normal.” Working out became my perpetual part time job and every meal was carefully portioned out, as fear of returning to my old skin would start to surface. Yet, despite losing weight, you realize the judge is multi faceted in the way he appears in your life. My weight melded into my sexual preference, which melded into my fashion sense, which melded into anything else that falls under what deems you as the other. “Hey what’s with that ringtone? Why are you wearing those shoes? Why don’t you have a girlfriend? WHY—” It never stopped.

I imagined it to be different by going to college away from it all, going across the country to a place no one knew my name, or better yet, driving aimlessly down the coast. There comes a point where you feel like those settlers on the Oregon Trail. Uncertainty becomes your best friend and every time you run into potential danger, you run. It feels liberating for a time, almost like gorging on that plate of pasta from Sbarro. Although it’s been over decade, that gaze was ingrained in my psyche long after my blueberry body shrunk and I was able to leave the confines of my hometown. I’d love to think that your past is your past and it certainly doesn’t impact future occurrences, and to a certain element, it’s true. Even with this knowledge, the human mind has its ways to reel its tentacles and steer you in one direction over the other. I still have trouble fully connecting with others or revealing who I am to this day. I fear that judge will surface at random points and remind me of my old shell, the freak show. Then I decide to look around. To my left, there’s a fighting couple that’s clearly on its last legs. Behind the less than stellar counter set up is a server breaking the rules by texting her best friend or partner while a disgruntled old woman attempts to get her attention. My friend called me the other day explaining his codependency and refuses to stop seeing this girl that’s cheating on him with his boss. I see all these people around me, and honestly, it gives me hope. We all carry that judge—we’re all guilty.


What’s Your Core?

 We can never stop researching, especially when it leads each of us down an enlightening path of self discovery. Ever since I laid eyes on it, I couldn’t help but to steer my attention at the Riso and Hudson’s Enneagram. I personally it find hard to define, for these nine levels of personal awareness could be anything your heart, mind, and/or soul desires. Riso and Hudson describe as it that “hunch,” or virtual void in one’s soul that takes a whole lifetime to diligently fill.

What I find the most interesting is that this concept, much like the human mind, is on a constant evolution. You embody every type to a certain extent, however,  one of the nine essences will be at your core. If you share the same interest of discovering your hidden potentials and wish to create a sense of it all, the Enneagram becomes your trusted guide in digging through all the bullshit. The emotion you will feel while reading through each of  these will bring up familiar scenarios, some more comforting than others. It’s almost as if your reading some bestseller with the sole difference that you’re the main protagonist. I mean, come on, wouldn’t you be pretty thrilled by that? Along with a link, I’ll give you a little walkthrough with each of the types, along with a fair share of insight as to other theories related to the Enneagram. I genuinely hope this helps anyone out there, for it sure answers many questions kept on a limbo for most of our lives. Good luck and happy soul searching!

Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people. – Carl Jung 

The Nine Cores: 

Type One, The Idealist: I would say that this type is one that loves perfection and idealism. They are driven, and you could say that their lives are based around a sense of loftiness and an upright demeanor that can alter the energies of others. Ones need to be careful to not come on too rigid with their lifestyles and opinions, for not everyone can have the same sense of direction that they were born with. Repression and moderating oneself is also big with this core essence.

Type Two, The Helper: These individuals are some of the biggest sweethearts you’ll ever meet. Always receptive and ready to help those in need, you can see them doing a lot for their communities, their families, and at their core, this love is what they desire in return. Many times, you’ll find them overextending themselves with others, and could become frustrated with themselves and those who they help when they do not receive the appreciation they believe they deserve. Manipulation and controlling  attitudes can become a habit when they’re in an unhealthy level.

Type Three, The Achiever: These are a handful of  your celebrities, CEOs, and politicians. Always aspiring to be the best in whatever they choose to do in life, a Three will overachieve, and honestly, they won’t hesitate to do it with style. With a lavish eye, you’ll see these individuals dress for success. However, on their average to unhealthy levels, they have a tendency to deceive. Like foxes duping their prey, a three may have a tendency to become amorphous, seamlessly blending in to achieve their path to success or oversell their perceived attributes and accomplishments. Narcissism and psychosis is common during the unhealthiest phases of this type.

Type Four, The Individualist: This type has a special place in my heart. The reason being is that these folks have the special ability to express their authenticity in the purest of forms. They desire to make their own mark on the world whether it be through art, music, writing, etc. Although reserved and considering themselves ‘outsiders’, their inner world is often a fantastic realm of magic, beauty, and sorrow all in one. As like the other eight essences, there is one major downfall to them–the Oedipus complex. They will harbor negative emotions to  those who they believe are doing better in life. Their emotions will wreak havoc on their souls in the more unhealthy levels, causing them to lash out at those closest to them, while simultaneously seeking that “savior” to come and liberate them from the madness they are undergoing. Depression, dependency, and loneliness is common for them if they are not kept in check.

Type Five, The Intellect: I would definitely call them your brilliant minded scientists, theorists, or simply those who have an insatiable taste for knowledge and curiosity about the world. To them, it is not so much about their human connections, making them seem a bit detached, especially when they are working on a topic of interest for an extended period of time. They have the ability to accomplish much in the world, and truly bring something innovative to our society. With so much knowledge, they may struggle with a sense of apathy and nihilism, which in turn can lead  to their fear of becoming useless to humanity. Their competence will go unnoticed, furthering them into an endless stream of isolation from the outer world.

Type Six, The Loyalist: This type is one that puts security and association as the top of their priority list. To them, stability is key, and many of their decisions are made keeping this concept in mind. They are extremely loyal and committed to whatever cause or person they devote themselves to, making this essence one of the most reliable ones in the Enneagram. This enhanced skepticism gives these folks a knack for problem solving, truly benefiting those who have the fortune to get to know them. However, the dark side of this type can take their same skills and turn it against them. That same commitment and loyalty will transform them into paranoid, rebellious skeptics whose self-doubt has taken a hold of their psyche. They will question everything, and in their eyes, their whole world becomes a huge “code red.”

Type Seven, the Enthusiast: Absolutely love their zest for life. These souls simply have a hunch for adventure, holding it close to their hearts. They are creative, fast moving, and smelling the roses in the vase? Nah, they’re down to run across the field collecting every kind of flower instead. Generally outgoing, the sevens will stop at nothing to lighten up your day. While other types will take things one step at a time, the seven acts with uncanny swiftness, seeing every positive opportunity that they can enjoy and relish, at least until the next one comes up. Are you seeing a pattern here? Despite their open ended approach, sevens run the risk of becoming burnt out through overstimulation, or when they feel deprived, excessively reliant on physical material acquisition in order to compensate.

Type Eight, The Challenger: The hulk of the enneagram, hands down. These people will not shy away from something that most will find too overwhelming to tackle. Their energies are felt in the environment, your typical head of the house, business, community, etc.. Eights are badass in the sense that they will push until they get what they long for, and at the end of the day, everything will go well so long as they run the show. As we all know, life has its turns and we may lose grip of it from time to time, and that is something that will drive type eight to run straight against the Mississippi River’s current. As this happens, one will start to see these folks’ insecurity come to a surface, especially with the enhanced force the eight creates in their environment in the first place. Intimidation is taken as a tactic and their tempers deteriorate with the slightest stint of disagreement from their associates.

Type Nine, The Peacemaker: Also known as the “Crown” of the Enneagram, the Nine is the most all-encompassing essence of the nine types. Like Fours, they have a rich internal world, but do not possess the envious nature that they may harbor. Like Sevens, they have the thirst for adventure close to their heart, and will be open to countless opportunities that come their direction. But that’s the nine for you. Openness and receptivity is a great way to define these individuals. Lovers and dreamers, a nine just looks for the best way to achieve a complete peace at mind, tranquility and white clouds penetrating the deepest crannies of their heart, mind, and soul. Striving for balance and positivity in their lives, they have a tendency to hold a large portion of their identity at bay, mainly because of their extreme dislike of conflict and criticism. That’s because of their desire to make their environments a free flow, rather than a murky puddle. They do have a tendency to deny reality, often retreating into their dreamlike world, well after their life’s problems have flown off the handle. To them, everything’s going to be okay, so at least they hope. As they grow unhealthy, so does their desire to completely escape. They become so lost in their heads that it’s almost as if they left their body completely. Hollowness and catatonia become the new standard for them. Comfortably numb.

Ready to find out what your type is? Here’s a couple of references if you’re interested in discovering a little bit more about yourself! Have fun with it 🙂

The Fun Test (Recommended)

The Simple Version (A short assessment, basic type revealed)

Basic Type, Wings, Instinctual Variant (Complete Overview)

Enneagram to a New Level (In Depth)

Wings, Instinctual Variants & Tritypes

For every main type you receive, unless in rare cases, you are often gifted with one adjacent wing from another type. This wing is almost like your pulling factor that affects your decisions and almost enhances your essence one way or another.

Three variants (sexual, social, self preservation) are immersed in our core essences, each of which will play a role in our lives at some point. If your sexual variant is the strongest, you desire intense connections and experiences. Social variants are a friendlier and more compliant in their demeanor. They want to be liked and appreciated among their community and those around them. Self preservation is all about acquiring the necessary comforts to survive and live well. They are more into indulging the senses and care more about their security than the other two variants.

As for a tritype, you’re born with a core essence in each center: feeling, thinking, and gut. With that, depending on your environment, both internal and external, you will go to your respected type and have the potential to combine the three and with that, create a unique essence.



September 6th, 2015:

There has come a point where the world has seen its inhabitants suffering. CNN presents a bombing one day.  On the next, you will see some live coverage of politicians slashing at each other’s career all with the justification that they’re doing the ‘right’ thing for Americans. What about if we change this standardized method of finger pointing and look out into the endless horizon? I goes like this. We get together, and openly discuss the good, the bad, the ugly, and the existential. We convey this thought through out endless fountains of knowledge, we educate the public, we…see what I mean? We outgrew this cardboard box, and we have let fear enter our sensitive souls. When I say change, this is what I mean.

A New Beginning

July 20th, 2015:


Let the flames bring a cleansing to my soul. An old spirit, but one that can free itself from the inner turmoil that plagues us all in this eternal oppression. I am in a new life, a new body, a new universe. I will live with it with no quarrels. I am the highest embodiment of love. Let this love emit to those who are in need, those who are finding their path, those who need that underlying strength.

There is no right or wrong way to living your dreams, just live em’.